Friday, October 19, 2007

Halloween is for Suckers (and other tasty treats)

So this year marks my 23rd Halloween—a pretty big landmark as far as Halloweens go, so I thought about writing a tribute. But really, when I thought about, Halloween hasn’t done a lot for me. Sure, I get candy, but have you ever been to my mom’s house? Every day is Halloween. Besides the fact that I can’t remember one thing that I’ve dressed up as. My friend Tori recently hinted to posting her five best Halloween costumes, and I sat for ten minutes trying to remember any of mine. I finally thought of two: Ramona Quimby and Winnie the Pooh. (What kind of loser was I anyway? Both book characters?) In fact, Halloween has more painful memories than anything else.

Like when I was a freshman in college and got invited to a Halloween party. Being the cute, sweet freshman I was, I thought I would have to dress up (after all, it was a Halloween party). But when I got there (decked out in a sparkling evening dress, squinty glasses, and a fur coat made out of various shades of guinea pig fur) I realized that I was the only one dressed up. It still hurts to think of that moment.

And don’t forget the time my mom agreed to let me eat all my candy in one night. With that encouragement, I ate until I threw up. Actually, that one happened to my brothers, but I really only had the one painful memory. I don’t know, though. That first one is pretty bad and could probably stand alone.

So Christian and I still haven't decided on a Halloween costume for this year. Any ideas?

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Large Onion

So I was wrong. No apple, no watermelon. Now my baby is an onion. I hope he/she grows out of this soon because I think onions sort of stink.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Ella as Harry Potter

I know I'm a little late on the Harry Potter rush, but this was just too good to pass up. Confession: I have watched this video sixty times everyday. I have started to use it as a reward for getting more chores done. Every time I do a chore, I can watch the video five times. I hope you love it as much as I do. (It takes the place of my earlier "reward" video--Kate dancing)

Monday, October 8, 2007

Which of These Is My Baby?

I get this newsletter from Baby Center every week, so I can gush and cry about how my baby is growing from day to day. Today I got the newsletter for sixteen weeks, and the letter told me my baby is the size of an avocado. Cute, right? Well, that's fine--except for the fact that two weeks ago it said my baby was the size of a lemon, a week before that the size of a lime, and somewhere in between the size of a jumbo shrimp. What's wrong with this? Aren't those all the same size? (And where did a jumbo shrimp come from anyway?) At this point, I think they have a hat with some fruits and vegetables (is avocado a vegetable?) written on slips of paper and a wild card (jumbo shrimp), and they just pull one out of the hat every week. If next week my baby is the size of an apple, then I'm boycotting baby center and fruit all at the same time. Unless it's a watermelon. Because I really like watermelon.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Me, Embarrassing?

We look happy, but really I am using them so I can get stuff from the library

I have always thought of myself as someone with pretty good self-esteem. When you think about it, people with low self-esteem are usually people who have everything going for them, and because I don't, I have learned to cope. But I have one flaw (just one). I get embarrassed easily. I mean really easily.
  • When I worked in the children's library, I would find DVDs that I hadn't seen in years. I always wanted to check them out, but I was afraid that my coworkers would see me with the complete series of Gummi Bears or TaleSpin and think I was a loser. That's right, I was afraid of what a bunch of library geeks would think of me (as if they didn't already own all those videos in their own private collection). So I would wait (sometimes months) until my nieces were in town and then check them out--pretending the videos were for them. Nice. (It was really bad when Naomi saw the movies at the check-out desk and said, "Hey, what are these movies? These aren't for us." I had to sort of laugh it off with an "Oh, kids" look and hope no one noticed my red face.)
  • At our Smith's, there was a big sale on Apple juice and they are stacked outside the store--easily accessible. I was too embarrassed to take the apple juice from such a public spot (what if someone saw me buying Apple Juice of all things?????), so I walked ALL the way around the store to get my juice from a more private spot.
  • Unfortunately, sometimes I am embarrassed even to the point of dishonesty. I took a bunch of Christian's clothes to the cleaners the other day, and they had a discount card that they punch for every ten dollars you spend. I watched the girl punch the card while I was paying, and she gave me one extra punch. I had watched very carefully, and I figured she must have just lost count, but I was too embarrassed to tell her. Why? I don't know. Part of me honestly thinks that she would've started crying in shame and ripped up my card. More than likely she would've shrugged and told me to consider it a discount. But because I am an idiot, I have to live in my dishonesty for the rest of my life (or just never redeem the coupon...which is probably what I'll do. Besides, I'd be too embarrassed to use a coupon, anyway).
Yes, it's funny. Yes, I'm an idiot. But it concerns me a little. Where does the embarrassment end? Am I going to be led out of my house at gunpoint by a guy ready to torch my house all because I am too "embarrassed" to call the police. I sure hope not. But surely if it did happen, I would be too embarrassed to tell anyone about it anyway.